Unclear decision....

Sometimes i really don't understand myself . I always thinking of leaving but when time come i, myself, heritage to make decision. I think again, again, and again... and still cannot make it clearly. I start feel attach of people around me. I start to miss them... 

Hating myself to become that weak. I always mix brain & heart and end up hurting myself.

M

Mum always know her kid the best

Yesterday, I walked around the house and saw the plants at our garden are dying because of hot weather recently and no one take care of it. so before din time, I have small chat with my parents.

Me: Mum, can i redo our garden to flower garden (currently, it's vegetable)?

Mum: Huh... up to you. Er... better not to touch it

Me: Huh (with wonder)... but it's dying

Dad: oh, please do it. I support you.

Mum: you plant it but how long do you gotta take care of it?

Me: Hehehe... i plant those and you take care of it as previous... (with funny smile to mum)

Mum: See, I know you will only plant it and let me take care of it all the time like your orchid. how many time did you shower it since you purchase it? 

Dad: let her do it. i will sometimes to take care of those too.

Me: Mum, please let me do it. I will plant it well. For shower and take care, i know you will help me right. thank so much mummy... (then I run into my room)

Mum ( talk to dad): you see. I know she can only plant it and let us take care of it.

Dad: ok, let her do it. I will help to take care of it too...

Hahaha... See! how mummy know her kid the best and how i was spoiled by my dad... he always love me the most as well as mum.

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Now, I'm thinking what should i plan for my little garden. should I plant flower, vegetable, or small small plant? if flower, what flower should i plant there? I dont like plant an usual one but i also don like the one it hard to grow too because I sure that I'm not the one who care it much. and i don't want it to die too.
Hmmm.... i start headache now... what a small brain of me? and also too complicated too? :D

M

back to crazy on drama again!!!

Poor me!!! Im back to addiction with Romance Drama again. it kinda crazy me... u know when i addict with sth I really cant stay to keep it away or wait. I must finish it as soon as possible. Yes, now it happen again... I really crazy with drama. I cry, laugh, and smile alone while watching it. and now my eyes like panda because I spent too much on drama without sleeping....
Hmmm.... How long can myself like this? but it gotta be long because I'm so free recently, free too much that i also bored with myself.

M

Welcome back!!!

Today, I got big surprise, he's back... finally, he come back. i saw that news I feel so happy. I really don know myself is really that crazy. But ... while I'm writing this post, suddenly i feel so ridiculous and a stupid girl in the world. why am i that happy? we just another people, rarely talk or contact each other. He maybe doesn't remember who am i or my existing.

Now i'm feeling hurt and hard to breath... I really want to cry but tear doesn't drop. Sorry, i cant continue writing... 

M

Waiting....

what's going on recently??? waiting... waiting... and waiting... why all things happen recently always keep me waiting... I really tired of it... please don't keep follow!!! Let's break up, ok?


M

Finally, the day I'm waiting arrived!!!

Yes, it's finally that day arrived but I'm not really happy neither sad... I just feel so so about it. A year, it's not so long but I gain a lot of story.

Life is too short!

M

Finally, i made it!

It's been 2 months since I did it but why I still take her word to consideration and still heritage to cut tie with her... Recently, I start hating myself for unclear decision. If you decision to make it why still think a lots. I know it's really hard but one make it you DONT HAVE TO REGRET ON THAT!!!

Now, it's time to make it clear. you make it or you don't want to make it? Life is too short to waste time to think again and again. Ok, I decide to make it happen.
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.
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---> I want to make it HAPPEN!!!

M

Lunar new year of 2015!!!

Today is third day of Chinese New Year, i still feel nothing special. Is it because i still working and also working late night too? It is not only this new year but very special holiday previously i also felt nothing too. Life is too busy and pressure.

I'm thinking of my life is it what i want? Life for job or want to make life balance? The answer is i need life balance. I want to have time with my family l, my friends... &also for myself. I think it's time!!!

Live, life, & work!!!

Recently i start questions myself what, why,  when,  how, ....  and it's become more and more everyday... now i start don know how to answer all the questions because it become countless... Hmmmm... i think it should be time!!!

life unbalance now!!!

Day 41/90:

i been awhile i found my self have no break... just few day ago was long holiday but i was keep myself work overtime from day to day... is it life that i want? only work no holiday no personal life... all are about my life currently. i miss my free life so bad...

M

I miss... I miss...

Day 39/90: 

I miss sea,  I miss beach, I miss island,  I miss walking along the beach, I miss sitting at beach listen to the sound of wave and watching the moon in a peacefull night, I miss...  I miss...  I do miss u!!!

Life in new place!!!

It's 2 weeks i have been working new place. Life is not like before my carefree life is over. Work-life that used to be fun during working hour, talkative, free to eat, carefree, teamwork, free style, reflexible working hour, free to share idea, western style of working boss... now i need to change myself 360 degree to adopt the new environment. I might was spoiled by my old places because i start my career with free style place... now i need to be more professional. God, please help me to adopt this soon because my work is ok but i just not get used to with new environment yet.

M

Morning Ceremony!!!

Normally I rarely join people wedding ceremony event at the morning unless they are really and very super closed to me. I don't like morning session we need to wake up super early to makeup it's about 2 or 3 hours before event but it is not big issue that I dislike but the issue it I hate queuing for them to makeup for me. They treat us like... & everyone try to make yoursalve to makeup first cos concern that they are not beauty hmmm...

Decision was made

You can say I'm a kid or not yet mutual but i really thanks so much to make me decide this. Even it's not serious or you just play with me but i really enough. it's really hard for me to make this decision but because of you word i can make it easily. I want to make it soon as possible. I don't care what i facing next. i don't care anything now just make it faster is better.

M

Gift myself some jewellery for new year 2014

2014, promised to be more girly so why dont i gift myself the jewellery... hehehe...
Here is some girly stuffs I bought for myself for new year, Cheers 😜😝😛

Cold day!!!

it's such cold morning ever!!!

I'm about to freeze now it's not because of weather but it's because of...  I feel everything around me were frozen it's too cool and too sharp. I need to be more careful otherwise i will get hurt by them... it's not warm and comfort as before.


;(

Again!!!

I don wanna fight you are nothing to me now. Right or wrong, I found it nothing to fight u... Let it go... If u found yrself nothing wrong ok... It's enough that i know i'm right. it's all...

My late lunch today!!!

Hello Thursday!

Wake up and go to work with no breakfast but still no feeling to have lunch because of busy or I'm not so well today... 😞😞😞

i'm still human even thought hungry or not i need to have some foods to survive. So I have order spaghetti meat ball from Brown coffee... 

M

11.12.13

What is special about this???

I saw many people who interested with it some said they should go on date with this day, some they should do something to make it rememberable... How about me, I found it just normal day because I have no mood to make something rememberable or blas blas blas tired about to die ... many upcoming project waiting for us(team). Ok live as our live... no need to make some special as drama for this month... 😪😴😥😔

M

Defense day!

Today is my defense day...everything gotta be ok right?... I feel so nervous... I feel like I'm in the middle of no where... I say to myself it's not end of the world, I can make it the best, everything gotta go smoothly, juries is not tiger.

Ok, finger cross. Smile up! U can make, fighting!

M